GRIEVING AS AN EMPATH
A lot of people are grieving at the moment, including myself. And so I decided to write about grief and love.
Today I opened an email and it was about the loss of a parent, then I made a phone call and the person I wanted to speak to had a bereavement in their family.
Last weekend I sold an item over the internet and I apologized for the delay in getting back, as I was catching up with myself after losing my dad. I received a message filled with so much empathy because also they lost a parent, and I was told to look after myself.
A friend of mine lost a parent very recently too.
Last month I burst into tears on the canal and a lovely lady saw me sobbing, so she sat next to me, and with so much kindness, she asked me if I needed to speak to someone. Initially I resisted, and then I opened up. This kind stranger told me she lost her mother a while back and she still finds it hard sometimes. She told me that it’s still early days for me and to be kind to myself. The best advice she gave me was to remember with love, not with sadness. It was exactly what I needed to hear. In the end she shed a few tears too as she was remembering her mum.
The Empath in me felt guilty for making this woman sad with my tears and so I apologized for making her cry. She replied ‘you didn’t’. While waving her goodbye I told her she was an angel and she smiled back at me. It was like she was sent to me at the right time to offer me support. I was even more moved.
I’m lucky because I received so much support and empathy from the people in my life, who gave me flowers, cards, took me out for tea and cake or for a lovely walk. Even strangers showed me support and understanding. I felt so much love around me, and I was filled with love towards them.
And so I’ve had an epiphany! I want to be LOVE, because I’m particularly aware now that you can’t always be happy and, especially since my dad passed, I had moments of deep sadness that were hard to overcome.
I know you can’t always be happy because life will throw things at you, maybe not something major like death, but sometimes you might not be well physically, or someone you care about might go through a difficult time.
There will be stuff going on in your life, and then obviously you’ll feel better again because nothing is forever. Emotional pain and pleasure are temporary, they’ll pass.
Happiness is fleeting. You always try to reach happiness and somehow it seems to escape you every so often.
Love is always there. And I’m not talking about romantic love. It’s pure love I’m talking about. It’s always there! You can love another person, a friend, a child, a pet and you can also love a place, food, music, a hobby. Whatever it may be, you can always be in love, even if you’re not in a romantic relationship, and love is happiness because it gives you joy.
Being with the people you love, or doing something you love, will bring you happiness.
So I just want to be in love with life and I want to appreciate it fully. I’m grateful for what I have, for who I am and the person I’ve become, for the people in my life, for my health and for my resilience!
I am enough and I’m happy because I fill myself with love.
If you fill yourself with love, you’ll be able to handle better what life throws at you sometimes.
What are you grateful for? What can you do to fill yourself with love?
If you would like to have a chat about anything I shared today, please don’t hesitate to book a call. I’m here for you.