WHY YOU’RE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK

I recently had a great conversation with a friend over coffee. She’s highly sensitive, although she didn’t know it, but she recognised herself in the trait when I explained it to her. I told her that Highly Sensitive People are different from the majority of the population and so we have to play to our strengths, instead of thinking that we’re weak because we aren’t like everyone else. 

Because of the overwhelm, or the fear of it, you might think that some things are too difficult for you to do, or too stressful. And you convince yourself that you just need a quiet, easy life. But have you noticed that the more you think “I want a stress free life”, the more things get stressful? Stress is part of life, whether we like it or not, and so we have to learn how to manage it.

Also, by playing yourself down in this way, you would be limiting yourself, because you’re a capable person!  You just have to act in a different way compared to the non-highly sensitive people. You can’t just copy what everyone else does and expect it to work, you need to find your own way of doing things.  And you’re perfectly capable of achieving results and to get where you want to be!

So my friend said “we’re like David who killed Goliath by hitting him in the head with a stone!” And I replied, “yes, that’s so true!”.  We need to find David in us! 

Highly sensitive people are like David against Goliath. No one would have thought that David could kill a giant, but with his cleverness and ability, he managed to kill the giant that no one could beat with just a sling. He was small but mighty, just as we are sensitive but powerful.

We have a sixth sense, we have our intuition, we are so in tune with the people and the world around us. We can use this extra ability to our advantage.

David is the underdog, and Highly Sensitive people often feel like the underdog, or they are perceived as that by the non-highly sensitive people. But we can face much bigger and stronger adversaries than us.

When Highly Sensitive People are in their power, they can beat the narcissists at their games. We’re actually more powerful than them, because they think they’re invincible and that we’re weak, which we aren’t.

I used to say that I was a good judge of character, but often it took me a long time to understand a person and I would think that they were so nice, but then I was proved wrong by their actions towards me. And I used to get so disappointed by it. Or, I would get attracted to narcissists without realizing that actually they weren’t the nice people they seemed to be. It was all a game they were playing. And then I had to distance myself from them.

That was happening because I wasn’t looking at people with my intuition on! In fact, my intuition was switched off because I was too stressed out from focusing on other people instead of my own feelings. And so I couldn’t see the wood for the trees. But now I can spot a narcissist within miles because I’m in tune with myself. Also, having trained as a coach, I’m now more able to pick up not just what people are saying, but also what they are not saying. I can see whether their words match their actions or not.

But you don't have to be a coach to be able to do that. You can reserve judgment until you get to know someone better. You can be open and let people in without investing all your heart straight away. Wait and see how they act around you.

Are they saying they’re supportive, but then when you actually need them, they disappear?

Do they make you feel good? Are you comfortable around them?

Do you feel like you can be yourself with them?

These are the things you need to concentrate on. Notice if it feels right to you. And only then you open yourself up fully, because you need to protect your heart a bit. 

Highly sensitive people don’t have the same barriers that the non-highly sensitive people have.

And so, you have to create your own kind of barriers. But this doesn’t mean leaving everyone out and having such a shield around your heart that the good stuff and the good people can’t get in.

Our heart needs to be open and filled with love, because that’s what life is all about, giving and receiving love.

If you shut yourself from the world you’re not truly living. We have to be in the world, but we need to learn how to live in a world that’s not usually understanding or tolerating high sensitivity.

Usually everything needs to be done quickly and you need to be productive and busy all the time. It feels like there’s no place for rest and going slowly, but that’s not true.  Take your time and do what you feel like doing. You don’t need to be on that conveyor belt and crack on with it no matter what.

Our needs matter, how we feel matter, and we feel a lot. So we need to go at our own pace, which might be slower than the majority of people, but that’s fine. Life is not a race and you don’t have to prove anything to anybody.

You don’t have to get that job because then you can put it on your CV for everyone to see. Do things for yourself and accomplish things because you want to accomplish them, not because you think that’s what you should do. 

Do things because you love to do them, because it gives you joy, and if your goal is a good goal, you will accomplish things that you can then put on your CV later on. But you need to know whether that goal is good for you, whether it matches your values and your vision of the future. 

Imagine what you could achieve if you knew who you were, what you stand for, what your vision for the future is, what your long-term and short-term goals are, and you make a plan to work towards them. 

And then you celebrate every little achievement until you get where you want to be.

If this is what you want, then book a free consultation with me.