WHY EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE IS SO IMPORTANT FOR HIGHLY SENSITIVE PEOPLE

Highly sensitive people have a sensitive nervous system. For this reason you tend to get stressed quite easily. Any kind of change unsettles you more than “the average person”, for example, changes in your body like aging or the menopause, a drastic change in the weather conditions, a new task added to your job.

Highly sensitive people have a really reactive nervous system and body, even being unwell physically will upset your mood and you might feel more emotional because you’re not feeling your usual self. 

It’s necessary to learn how to regulate the emotions so they don’t run the show for you.  You are the showman! Your emotions are valid and it’s important to experience them, to feel them fully, but they don’t need to rule your life!

So how can you become more emotionally resilient?

Well, as with everything, it takes practice, time and exercise. It’s just like with physical resilience, your body gets stronger if you exercise, if you run or if you lift weights or if you do yoga. If you practice some sport, you’ll see your muscles getting stronger and then you’ll become more and more able to take on the next physical challenge, because you’ve developed a strong body. 

It’s the same with emotions. The more you do things that are potentially stressful for you, or overarousing for your nervous system, or slightly scary, or out of your comfort zone, the easier it will get. By doing these things, overcoming challenges and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone you’ll get emotionally stronger.

For example, I get really stressed out by traveling. Although I love traveling to new destinations and discovering new places, the actual getting there can be quite stressful because I can’t read maps and even with Google Maps I still have to ask for directions sometimes. 

And so, this is how I decided to train my nervous system. I applied to do casual interpreting assignments in various locations near me like hospitals and schools. I just got given the address and then I had to find the place and the service user. I also never knew what kind of situation I was going to have to translate. I just got told the topic or the type of assignment. There wasn’t much I could prepare for. 

Although I qualified in translation and interpreting, I was afraid to put myself out there because of the fear of the unknown and the need to be able to do a perfect translation. I used to struggle with perfectionism and that was stopping me from attempting something that turned out I was good at! And the more I practiced my language skills, the more I just went for it. I plunged myself into those situations and my confidence improved massively. Then I thought, “well, if I can do this, what else can I do?”. I gained confidence and self belief. I know that I can do it. I’m now more able to take on new challenges because I’m emotionally stronger than I used to be. 

I believe you need to push yourself out there a little, not too much because otherwise you go into the panic zone, then inertia kicks in and you just stop doing everything entirely. You have to be in your stretch zone. That’s where growth happens, and you can become a stronger, healthier, happier version of yourself. If you stay in the comfort zone, nothing is ever going to change. You will stay stuck in the same situation, doing the same things day in and day out. 

It's important to feel fulfillment and you only get that sense of fulfillment by achieving things, by conquering your fears.

For me it was the fear of the unknown. I didn’t know what’s around the corner, but it’s okay. I’m okay in the present. I trust myself and I know I can overcome what life throws at me, those unexpected circumstances.

I’m able to adapt and I know I can come back from a setback if and when I experience one. It doesn’t really matter how long it takes to get back from it. You don’t have to bounce right back like a spring, it’s not expected of you and you can’t really put that pressure on yourself or say things like “I should be feeling better by now”. It just takes the time it takes you! And it also depends on the situation, or on the physical state that you were starting from, for example, because some days you’re feeling stronger than others. It’s OK! 

Be patient with yourself, give yourself the same patience that you give to others. Give the same compassion that you offer to other people to yourself. Look after yourself when you are triggered or overwhelmed and work on your well-being until you’re back to where you feel fine again and in control. Be kind to yourself, give yourself the same kindness you give to others.

Be open to the expectation of the unknown. Be open to change, rather than fearing it, because that’s when new possibilities and new opportunities are created. You can’t expect to create a new reality for yourself by staying in the same place, you have to put yourself in new situations, in new environments, meeting new people, making new connections. That’s when things will start to change for you.

If you need help with setting the right goals for yourself because you don’t know where to start from right now, get in touch with me.